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Letter to a Five Month Old

Dear Svea,

As I'm writing this it's late at night and I can hear you sleeping over the baby monitor... 
Sometimes it takes all of my will power not to run into your room at night, scoop you up, and forget about sleep. I love you so much that sometimes I'm overcome with it and just being two rooms away from you hurts. Silly I know, but you are my whole world.

You are now five months old. I can scarcely believe I'm writing that. That whole saying about how nine months can drag on forever but somehow everything after that speeds by is very true.

You can now roll all over the place. I can't really leave you on the floor even for a minute without being in the room to watch you because within thirty seconds you can be on the other side of the room reaching for something. 

(check out your cute little unicorn horn - your hair does that naturally!)

When we were at my Mormor and Morfar's house once this month, I put you down for a nap on the floor in Aunt KineBritt's room.
I surrounded you with pillows
and when I came to get you up I had five seconds of pure terror when I saw that you were gone.
It took me a minute to see that you had rolled over the pillows
and were asleep halfway under her bed. 
I can already tell that my gray hairs will come quickly with you.

This month you learned how to make this face.
Suck in the lips and puff out the cheeks.
You do it a lot while making a humming noise.

You also do a fake cough and then you laugh at yourself.

You are even more into talking now.
You talk yourself to sleep before every nap and before bed at night.
You talk to yourself in the car and then get really excited when I respond.
You squeal at the dogs when they are playing or wrestling
like you wish you could run over and join in. 
You don't have to go so fast little one.
Slow down a little.
Be my baby a bit longer.

You have discovered toys this month!
You absolutely love playing with things,
inspecting them,
touching them,
putting them in your mouth,
and even holding them out to me.
You still suck your two middle fingers in the "I love you sign"
but I have caught you trying out your thumb on occasion.

You like to hold onto a stuffed animal when you fall asleep in your crib at night.
Usually its the little white teddy bear that Morfar got you on the day you were born.

You really love to grab, eat, and play with your feet!
You do it so much that you usually end up scratching them.
I have to be on strict nail trimming and sock wearing duty.

You also have decided that you really love music.
You are more than happy to sit for long periods of time in the Ergo
while Pappa serenades you on the piano.
It's much too adorable.

This month was Pappa's first Father's Day with you.
He was simply beaming all day long!
He got a huge yummy breakfast buffet and gifts from you and me.
Your gift to him was a Ninja turtles shirt for your to wear so you could match him.
He LOVED that and you enjoyed taking some photos with him in it.

This month you went to your first MLB baseball game,
you went on your first trip to the East Coast to visit some people with amazing stories to tell,
you said goodbye to all of the puppies,
you went the Phoenix Children's Museum,
you learned how to use a baby walker,
you had your first 4th of July,
you decided that you could live in a swimming pool,
and you ate baby food for the first time.

At the baseball game I assumed you would fall asleep,
like you have at all the Suns games you've been to.
Not so!

You decided that there was simply too much going on for you to miss out!
You stayed awake to the bitter end, only dozing off once for a few minutes.

It was actually my first game in almost a decade so you and I both had fun
with Sampson, Dia, Maria, and Amy.

Our East Coast trip was really only a day and a half,
but a lot of it was in the car and I felt so bad for you
having to be strapped into your carseat the whole time we drove.
You took it like a champ and only cried one time because you were hungry
and we were trying to find an exit to pull off onto.
You watched the entire lazer show on Stone Mountain with amazement
and you laughed at all the funny faces that your Aunite Tee tee, Auntie Kine,
and Uncle JJ made at you to entertain you.
You are a traveling pro!

After we got home from that little trip,
it was time to say goodbye to our last puppy.
It was really hard and really relieving at the same time.
To be responsible for eleven dogs was ridiculously difficult,
but rewarding at the same time.

Those puppies filled our home with even more life and love
and I got all emotional just thinking about the love they would fill their new owners lives with.
You spent several days after they were gone looking around
every time that we would walk through their room.
I know you really loved them.
You spent hours just watching them
and giggling when one would lick your toes.

One day we went to meet Lydia & Jen
and their babes
(Rigby, Mila, and Margo)
at the Children's Museum.

I thought you would just be content to sit on my lap
since you aren't mobile enough to play with the other kids really.
Silly me.
What was I thinking?
You spent the entire time watching the other children
and leaning towards everything they were doing.
When they rode the bicycles through the play bicycle wash
(like a car wash)
you practically thrust yourself forward off my lap towards them.

I finally sat you on a little bike and you held on to the handle bars
and I thought you might ride off after the other kids using sheer willpower.

You loved watching Margo show you how to do stuff,
like spin the steering wheel of a little pickle car you sat in.

You can't do it yet but banging it was close enough for me to see
that you wanted to.
I really should stop underestimating how much you are capable of!
We had a blast with them!

Mormor and Morfar gave us JJ's old baby walker.
I'm pretty sure it's much older than JJ because I remember him
having a newer one
(it's not that same one as in the family home videos).
You could care less how old it is.
It has given you new freedom and you have almost figured out how to move backwards.
You'll get there.

(Here you are in the walker with two of the three huge coolers of breastmilk that I donated to the Nation Milk Bank last month - they will go directly to helping save the lives of micro preemie babies)

When the 4th of July rolled around,
you and I were headband twins.

I hope you don't ever hate me for doing stuff like that.
I love matching headbands with you.
I want to be you when I grow up.
We took some family photos in our patriotic colors
and then we had a yummy lunch at Great Grandma & Grandpa Johnson's house.

In the evening Pappa went to work
and we went and swam with Mormor and watched some fireworks from her pool.

Speaking of swimming,
you might be part mermaid.

We have gone swimming with my family
and with Sampson
so many times this month!

You cannot get enough of the water and you never complain.
Even if its your nap time,
and you usually would gripe a bit,
you just snuggle into me and enjoy the water.

I'll take you swimming all you want, Little Muppet.

As for the baby food,
well I don't think its time yet.
We decided to give you peas,
and you actually loved them!

Only problem was that you couldn't wait in between bites.
We would give you a bite
and you would happily suck and swallow,

and within a split second you'd have tears in your eyes
because you didn't want to wait until the next bite.

I guess eating food just isn't as fast and efficient as nursing for you
and I'm ok with that.

I like being your hero.
I'll nurse you without supplemented food as long as the doctor says it's ok.

You have loved spending time with your Aunt Sampson & Aunt Dia
as they come over each week to cuddle you,
watch movies,
and play games with us.
You're just like a tiny adult and you love being in all the conversations.
They like to change you and read to you when they are over,
and I must say,
I hope you somehow vaguely remember them doing it,
because it's precious.
One of those moments I wish I could bottle up and freeze.
They make all sorts of funny reading voices
and animated faces,
and you just watch wide eyed.
You take in everything.

Your personality is growing and blossoming so much.
You love to interact with people.
People who are nervous around babies always say things like,
"I don't want to hold her in case she cries,"
but they don't realize that's not you.
You love people.

When you meet someone new
I can see your little mind working in overdrive as you study their face.
You always seem to settle on something you really like about them,
and then you give them a smile to end all smiles.

You are also the most expressive sleeper ever!
You mumble and move around and smile and laugh.
It is my favorite!

I get emotional just thinking about how much joy and light you've brought to the world
in just five short months.
How is that possible?
How could I have helped bring something so wonderful into the world?
Heavenly Father surely did all the work
and I was simply the vessel for one of His greatest creations.

You'll probably get sick of hearing me say this in your lifetime,
but I am SO blessed to be your mamma.
If I never accomplished anything in this life but to teach you how loved you are,
it would be enough.
It would be more than enough.

I love you.


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